READ OUR MENUS
We have gone to great lengths to ensure that our food and drink descriptions are as detailed and accurate as possible, and that all company policies are clearly explained on our menus, so please read them. If you have any questions, just ask your server. It’s all pretty simple. Please don’t make us mock you.
THE VORTEX GUARANTEE
When dining with us, if you are not greeted within 2 minutes, then you’ll be greeted within 3 or 4. We do our best to be prompt, but service times will vary with business volume, so just pull that big stick out of your butt. Try to relax, have fun and enjoy the experience. It’ll be good for you.
We offer a bar-style menu built around our awesome, Award-Winning Vortex Burgers. If you’re fussy, we can often prepare special orders. Your server will be able to tell you what we can and cannot do. Our goal is to give our customers exactly what they want to eat, even if we know better. But be advised, if we preparesomething that’s not on our menu, we’ll charge you whatever damn price we want, and you’ll thank us for it.
EXTRAS ARE EXTRA
We do our best to keep our quality high and our prices reasonable. One thing that helps us achieve this goal is to actually charge people for what they order. Simple concept, right? So if you ask your server for extra stuff, understand you’ll be paying for it. If you’re particularly cheap, then you may want to ask how much an “extra” item costs before you order it. We don’t want to see you crying when the bill comes. Don’t worry, we’ll be sure to let you know when that truck full of FREE stuff shows up. But so far, our delivery drivers won’t leave us a damn thing until we write them a check.
FRESH FOOD & SERVICE TIMES
All our menu items are fresh, and cooked to order. We strive to have food to your table within 20 minutes, but if we are very busy your order may take a little longer. Any “well-done” burgers will also increase the wait time. You see, a half pound of fresh, raw sirloin actually has to cook. Nothing at The Vortex ever sits under a heat lamp. This ain’t fast food, it’s good food.
We know mistakes can happen, and we will promptly correct any errors made by our kitchen or service staff. Just let us know about the problem as soon as you can. If you order a beer, wine or spirit that you don’t like, that’s just a damn shame. We don’t brew, ferment, distill or bottle any of it. We just sell it. Additionally, any menu item that has been prepared correctly may NOT be returned because you “just don’t like it.” Are you five years old? Did you read the description? Did you ask your server about it? Are you a scammer or just a fault-finding little whiner? Which is it? If you’re actually just a delicate flower with an exceptionally sensitive palate, then we suggest you be prepared to share whatever you order with the less finicky members of your party. You know, the adults.
We do not, and can not, accommodate people with food allergies. Especially allergies serious enough to cause sickness or death. Even if you talk a member of our staff into assuring you that whatever you’re allergic to will not be in the item you order, you have simply talked an employee into violating our official company policy, and they will be fired. Please understand that The Vortex does not certify the absence of any ingredient from any menu item. If you have food sensitivities, food allergies, an autoimmune disease or other related disorder, either mild or severe, do not eat here. Likewise, if you are looking for “true” vegetarian or vegan options, you have definitely come to the wrong place. The Vortex is a bar and burger joint.
The Vortex is a neighborhood bar. It is not really a “take-out” restaurant, so our “dine-in” guests will always be our first priority. That’s why we may suspend take-out orders during our peak business periods. Sorry, but when we’re really busy in-house, that’s just the way it has to be. Don’t cry. Don’t throw a fit. That won’t change anything, but will make you look like a spoiled little whiner.
A 5% packaging fee is added to all take-out orders. An additional 10% is added to orders of 15 or more items. If your order is much bigger than that, you should really consider contacting a caterer.
Large take-out orders should be arranged and approved ahead of time. We want to help you out. Really, we do. But trying to order take-out for the 50 people on your film crew, with a cold-call at 8:00 on a Friday night, just isn’t going to happen.
When the Phone Keeps Ringing:
If we can’t even answer the phone, that’s a pretty good indication that we’re too busy to accept any Take-Out orders at the moment.
Ordering at Night:
After 8:00 pm nightly, take-out orders can only be placed in-person, at the bar.
Menu Content Disclaimer:
All complimentary menus, or menu information, furnished by The Vortex through any medium has been provided solely as a courtesy to our patrons. This information is not an advertisement of products offered, nor a contract of any kind. While we do our best to keep our company reference material up-to-date, please be aware that all information contained within our menus, and on our website, including, but not limited to, individual menu items, descriptions, prices and company policies, are subject to change without notice.
PLACING TAKE-OUT ORDERS
When we are accepting phone-in Take-Out orders, you can help assure your complete satisfaction with the experience by following the simple five-step instructions listed below.
1) Call the Right Location:
Pay attention to which Vortex location you call to place your order, because that is where your food will be waiting for you. People often show up in Midtown, after having placed their order with Little 5 Points. Ooops. That can be a real bummer when you’re hungry.
2) Have Your Order Ready:
When the restaurant is busy, we just don’t have time to wait while you ask every member of the I.T. Department what dressing they want on their salads, so please have your order complete before you call. Think of all the various options – like burger temperatures, side dishes, bread selections, salad dressings, etc. Whatever applies.
3) Come and Get It:
We will give you an approximate pick-up time for your order, so if your food sits around and gets cold and soggy, it’s your own damn fault.
4) Double-Check It:
Always check the contents of your order before you leave. Nobody is perfect 100% of the time, and our Take-Out Expediter could have made a mistake, so double-check it. We will not be responsible for errors or missing items once orders are removed from our premises, because that’s the oldest scammer trick in the book. Sorry.
5) Go Back to Your Lair:
If you order food to-go, you can’t eat it in the restaurant, that’s why it’s called Take-Out. Besides, you don’t want to miss that “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” marathon, do you?
The Vortex is required to obey a variety of Liquor Laws to maintain our Liquor License in good standing. The livelihood of a whole bunch of really nice people depend on it. You may be unaware of some of these laws, so we have compiled the following list for your review, along with one really good suggestion.
We are prohibited by law from selling alcoholic beverages “to-go,” with the single exception of opened bottles of wine that are not finished when dining on-premise. These bottles may be re-corked and taken home by the customer. No other alcohol may leave our premises at any time.
On Sundays we are prohibited from selling alcohol until 12:30 pm. Apparently, drinking a Mimosa at 11:00 o’clock on Sunday morning will make the baby Jesus cry. Nobody wants that to happen.
We will not serve alcohol to anyone that is visibly intoxicated. We reserve the right to cease the service of alcohol to anyone, at any time, at our sole discretion. Few things are as embarrassing as being cut-off at your favorite bar, so do everyone a favor and cut yourself off, before you start acting stupid.
Hard closing times are set by City or State government regulations. According to applicable law, Monday through Saturday, all patrons must be off our premises at 3:00 am. On Sunday evenings all patrons must be off our premises at midnight. We’d love to let you hang out longer, but that would be illegal.
Don’t Drive Impaired:
If you don’t have a designated driver, and are not sure of your own condition, never hesitate to have the bartender, server or manager call you a taxi. It’s not a problem. We’ve got those guys on speed-dial. We also recommend utilizing the car services, Uber and Lyft. In Georgia, driving with a Blood Alcohol Content of 0.08% is an automatic DUI. It’s not worth the risk or the hassle. Trust us. Waking up in your own warm bed in the morning is much better than waking up in county jail. Be safe. Be smart. Never drive impaired.